What am I doing?

It’s a question asked of me by many a people.
It’s a question I’m never sure how to answer.

What do people really want to know when asking this question?
Do they want to know what I’m physically doing, and where I’m physically doing what I happen to be doing? Or perhaps they would like to know what I happen to be thinking. Or perhaps that actually want to know what I plan on doing. If this is the case, how long of a time line would these people like for me to describe? I’m unsure. But here goes:

Well I’m currently writing this web blog. I’m in the Informatics lobby and many people are coming and going from classes. This just happens to be the place to hang out.

I’m thinking about the interactions of people. In social, physical, and virtual senses. People interact verbally and non-verbally. This is very interesting to me. People are always unpredictable and rarely completely open and honest. I strive to be open and honest at all times. I strive also to be visible and transparent in all that I do. Why should I hide what I’m thinking. Why should I hide anything from anyone. If they don’t want to know, they shouldn’t ask. If you aren’t prepared for any possible answer, how can you ask the question?

My plans are to finish this semester on a high grade point note. Projects are being completed, neural networks are being implemented, other projects are being planned, etc etc etc. Not to  mention the ever pressing inevitability of finals week. What a scary thought. After the semester I plan on working and doing Christmas things with family and friends. After that, I start my spring semester of classes and pretty blooming things. Soon after that I start my internship in Kansas City. After that I have just one semester left of classes. And then graduation. What that will be like, I’m unsure. And in borrowing some writing styles of a great author… And so on, and so on, etc etc etc.

Add comment November 29th, 2007 at 02:38pm John

The Thick Mist

A new poem: Permanent link .
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The Thick Mist

My depression is coming in like winter.
It’s cold sterile loneliness smacks you in the face.
White desolation mirrors the vast emptiness inside.

Yes my depression is setting into my soul as the sun dips into the sea.
The blackness, only moments away, brings the fear of isolation.
My heavy heart is lost to its current.

Tears wax and wane upon my eyes like the deep morning’s mist.
Barely noticeable as gravity pulls them unto her womb.
My eyes wander through mazes of sorrow.

My depression is coming in like winter.
Emotions flutter as my death rattle echoes across the land.
I am a desolate tree vacant of leaves.

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Lately I just feel awful lonely. I keep mucking up any new possible friendships with my lack of social grace. I find it incredibly hard to meet new people. Once I’ve meet them, I obsess with trying to make them my friend right away. And meeting women, forget about it. Even if I muster the courage to speak with them, I always blow it in the first couple of days. Besides any women I become interested in have established relationships already. I just don’t know what to do, or how to do what I don’t know what to do. It’s confusing, time consuming, emotionally draining, frustrating, and incredibly painful.

So tell me great people of the public, how do you meet and acquire new friendships (and possibly girlfriends)? Forever friends.

More poems for your digestion.

Add comment November 7th, 2007 at 09:59pm John

December 31, 2008 : The End
December 30, 2008 : Antique Portrait
December 29, 2008 : New Haircut Portrait
December 28, 2008 : Porcelain Portrait
December 27, 2008 : Dead Leaves
December 26, 2008 : Hilarious
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