I’m Too Old for This

I feel tired and dreamy.
Lost, confused, and lonely.
Depressed, manic, and intelligent.
Stupid, frightful, and anxious.

Dammit. I really think I’m too old for this shit. Should I really be sleeping in until 10:30. Should I really be so deep into dreams that I hit the sleep button on my alarm clock until 30 minutes before class and then decide not to go.

I’ve so many things to do. How can anyone get senior-itis. Seriously, there seems to be a ton of extra work to do my senior year. Not only are classes just as hard, but now I have the background to put lots of thought into my classwork. Also, I have to find a career for when I graduate (Dec 2008), and this ain’t no picnic basket.

It’s kinda fun being busy, but I still lack the close relationships I desire in my life.  I have “friends”, but none whom are close. My only close friends live in Indianapolis, and when friends live in different cities they fall out of touch, at least a little bit. So my close friends in Indy are not as close of friends as they used to be.

Depression sucks. I’m just glad I was diagnosed so that I have a name for it [major depressive disorder], instead of just saying “Gosh life sucks”. Knowledge is the answer.

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. µßio  |  October 9th, 2007 at 9:38 am

    It´s gone bad to worse. I am 50. Imust to work and learn without teacher and lesson all this on computer. I started in 1987 and I continue learning, blogs, wikis, copyrights and so. Use your classes as I haven´t them.

    Health
    µßio (to be pronounced as microbio)

  • 2. John  |  October 28th, 2007 at 10:30 pm

    I wish you the best of luck my friend.

  • 3. µßio  |  November 25th, 2007 at 3:27 pm

    Thank you very much!

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