I’m feeling really good about myself lately. The summer is coming to a close. The sun is melting away my precious skin and drilling through my eyeballs, but I’m feeling ok. I really hope to be done with a freelance project this week. At least 99.9% of that project. Sigh, alas I’m still waiting on others. Come to think of it, when it comes to my work, I’m waiting on others a lot. It seems that I depend on other people in order to get my work done, much like a construction worker depends on having wood and nails in order to build, so must I depend on others. Damn. I wish it weren’t so hot. I also wish that I had asked for more money for this freelance job, I really screwed myself there. Good job John!
July 30th, 2007 at 08:48pm
John
[Begin Mantra to Mysyelf]
It is time for a change in my social life. I have to realize that my friends now live further away. They have meet new friends and their life seems more exciting to them. Therefore they seem to have less time for me, their older (perhaps oldest [and not my age]) friend. So I must make new friends, explore new territory, and actually make things happen. I’m still tired of being an inward social person when it comes to new people. When I’m around people I’ve known for awhile I’m much more comfortable and outward, and I enjoy this. I need to transfer this outward and comfortableness over towards people I don’t know very well. This will help me to make more friends and become comfortable with many more people. The result will grow exponentially and I will have a more fulfilling social life.
[End Mantra toMyself]
A trip is in the works. A vacation on the horizon. Having plans for the future is good.
A realization about myself
Today I realized that I am a visionary, an idea man. I like to think up new ideas, live on the bleeding edge, and solve complex problems in simple terms. I really enjoy starting up these new ideas and running with them. I don’t wish to sound arrogant. I just come up with lots of great stuff. Many things slip in and out of my hands. I need to be free to develop new ideas and get them running and then have someone take them over. From there I could oversee and help with any problems that arise. I am a leader and visionary. I don’t have the time or mental strength to update a silly work org chart. No I’m not going to change your email address on that page. No I’m not going to sort through your hundreds of photos to pare it down into an scrapbook slideshow. I’m going to revolutionize the way you interact with other Alumni online. Don’t bother me with your pesky tiny updates. Let me solve the complex problems in creative ways. Let me get these amazing ideas off the ground and running with a foundation that is solid enough for others to stand upon. Let my mind be free. I want to effing fly.
July 17th, 2007 at 09:13pm
John
Work is supper boring. Typically I am bored at work 5-6 hours per day. I sit with nothing to do. My mind is not made for this boredom. I can not handle it well.
My after work life is supper boring also, I constantly hope and try to change this, but alas tis still summer time and not many people are around.
How the hell do people make new friends anyway. If I go out and try to meet people it is awkward because I am by myself. No one wants to talk to the weird lonely guy, thusly cycling my loneliness.
Speaking of cycling, I bought a touring bike. It is lots of fun. I’m trying to get into the habit of riding it instead of driving places. It has been rainy this week so that has failed, but next week looks better.
I keep coming up with these fun ideas for mini summer vacations. Like heading out to Indiana Dunes for a weekend, or going to Louisville for a weekend night. The problem is that none of the friends I do have ever want to do fun (crazy) things like that. Sigh.
July 6th, 2007 at 07:40am
John
