Comments on: Depression and Randomly Crying http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/ A journey through Major Depressive Disorder and the lives that surround it. Sat, 11 Feb 2012 05:13:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Jonathan http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-70466 Jonathan Sun, 24 Apr 2011 16:51:13 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-70466 I hope this blog is still being read. I found it today when I found myself crying on this gorgeous Easter Sunday, 2011. Living in Northwestern Ontario, Canada, where life feels dark, cold, alone, isolated and love and warmth feel so far away, I've felt like loneliness is my destiny - I've cried for years and years...I came out as a gay kid at 15, so I've always been honest about who I am, yet I've never been really able to connect with other people who feel the same way. There's something there that prevents us from totally connecting and letting this out - there is so much pain, so much anger, so much loneliness; there are days where I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life and at 36 that outlook is just too hard to take. So I work out all the time. I run all the time. I use running as my therapy. Today I went out and ran on this beautiful morning. For most people - myself included - running and exercise is enough. I came home and cried immediately. I think about how much my parents have been my everything and more, yet now that I feel more 'grown up' I feel like I have let them down - I've never been in love. I will never be a parent. I am so depressed about this life of being alone that I no longer talk about it. The message I want to leave to everyone is this: the crying, I am convinced, means something...there has to be some kind of healing going on that is beginning (and I do believe that springtime is a time of rebirth; healing can occur but I am stuck because I don't know why I'm suddenly crying - then an hour later I'm 'okay'. Without anyone to love, any children to raise, and any good feeling about sharing my life with anyone, I often question my purpose or even why I'm alive. I try to keep myself busy so I don't have to feel anything. But I've been able to put these pieces together. Working out, running, keeping super busy are all ways that we try to 'just keep getting on with it' so we don't have to stop and feel anything. I watched a documentary about drug use and the epidemic of prescription pain medicine abuse. Same thing - we are seeking comfort and love through chemicals - so many of us are searching for paradise, of acceptance, of LOVE...if we can't find this in another person we find it in food, drugs, alcohol, even exercise addictions. If only - if only I look good, if only i get my graduate degree, if only I move to this city - I'll be worthy of love and someone will save me. Is this where we go wrong? Are we on a constant search for answers outside ourselves when WE know these answers all along? Do we underestimate our own power as far as knowing ourselves - do we need that reinforcement through other people? We are all great people for being on these sites because we recognize we need help and we need support. Coming here, for me, is the first step. I love my parents, but I don't want to burden them with my problems when I am concerned about their health. I don't want to make them any more worried after all they've done for me. And that's where this incredible guilt comes in...I think about everything they've done for me, and then I feel the way I felt an hour ago and I all I could do is hug my pillow and cry. I have nobody to hug and collapse into. It's not natural for humans to just go to our rooms and sit with no touch, no contact or anything - yet so many young people now have no social skills that reach beyond internet chat rooms. I mean, God Bless the internet, because many of us had no clue on where to seek information for our life situations. But there's a happy medium that needs to be found. Please come to these sites when you feel this way. I had my 'good cry' for 20 minutes (and I don't know why); I took a shower and now I'm fine. I just want to know what I was releasing when I was crying. It's a tough world right now. People aren't necessarily meaner, but I think people are too caught up in their own depression, their mortgage, their lack of quality relationships; we come from a time where we witnessed parents who went out and got things, and got more, and unfortunately, our reality is not going to be that way. We have to find content in other ways. We just have to feel like we can talk to each other about it. I hope this blog is still being read. I found it today when I found myself crying on this gorgeous Easter Sunday, 2011. Living in Northwestern Ontario, Canada, where life feels dark, cold, alone, isolated and love and warmth feel so far away, I’ve felt like loneliness is my destiny - I’ve cried for years and years…I came out as a gay kid at 15, so I’ve always been honest about who I am, yet I’ve never been really able to connect with other people who feel the same way. There’s something there that prevents us from totally connecting and letting this out - there is so much pain, so much anger, so much loneliness; there are days where I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life and at 36 that outlook is just too hard to take. So I work out all the time. I run all the time. I use running as my therapy.

Today I went out and ran on this beautiful morning. For most people - myself included - running and exercise is enough. I came home and cried immediately. I think about how much my parents have been my everything and more, yet now that I feel more ‘grown up’ I feel like I have let them down - I’ve never been in love. I will never be a parent. I am so depressed about this life of being alone that I no longer talk about it. The message I want to leave to everyone is this: the crying, I am convinced, means something…there has to be some kind of healing going on that is beginning (and I do believe that springtime is a time of rebirth; healing can occur but I am stuck because I don’t know why I’m suddenly crying - then an hour later I’m ‘okay’. Without anyone to love, any children to raise, and any good feeling about sharing my life with anyone, I often question my purpose or even why I’m alive. I try to keep myself busy so I don’t have to feel anything.

But I’ve been able to put these pieces together. Working out, running, keeping super busy are all ways that we try to ‘just keep getting on with it’ so we don’t have to stop and feel anything. I watched a documentary about drug use and the epidemic of prescription pain medicine abuse. Same thing - we are seeking comfort and love through chemicals - so many of us are searching for paradise, of acceptance, of LOVE…if we can’t find this in another person we find it in food, drugs, alcohol, even exercise addictions. If only - if only I look good, if only i get my graduate degree, if only I move to this city - I’ll be worthy of love and someone will save me. Is this where we go wrong? Are we on a constant search for answers outside ourselves when WE know these answers all along? Do we underestimate our own power as far as knowing ourselves - do we need that reinforcement through other people?

We are all great people for being on these sites because we recognize we need help and we need support. Coming here, for me, is the first step. I love my parents, but I don’t want to burden them with my problems when I am concerned about their health. I don’t want to make them any more worried after all they’ve done for me. And that’s where this incredible guilt comes in…I think about everything they’ve done for me, and then I feel the way I felt an hour ago and I all I could do is hug my pillow and cry. I have nobody to hug and collapse into. It’s not natural for humans to just go to our rooms and sit with no touch, no contact or anything - yet so many young people now have no social skills that reach beyond internet chat rooms. I mean, God Bless the internet, because many of us had no clue on where to seek information for our life situations. But there’s a happy medium that needs to be found.

Please come to these sites when you feel this way. I had my ‘good cry’ for 20 minutes (and I don’t know why); I took a shower and now I’m fine. I just want to know what I was releasing when I was crying. It’s a tough world right now. People aren’t necessarily meaner, but I think people are too caught up in their own depression, their mortgage, their lack of quality relationships; we come from a time where we witnessed parents who went out and got things, and got more, and unfortunately, our reality is not going to be that way. We have to find content in other ways. We just have to feel like we can talk to each other about it.

]]> By: Charlotte http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-62332 Charlotte Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:58:33 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-62332 I'm only sixteen, I have my whole life ahead of me, I have good friends, a lovely boyfriend, and a loving family. So why do I feel like this? I'll wake up some mornings and I will just cry. Or I'll cry myself to sleep in the evenings. It just happens. It'll just unexpectedly pounce on me, so I feel down, and begin to cry. Sometimes it only lasts for 15 minutes or so, but sometimes it's hours. Sometimes it's quietly, but sometimes when I'm alone I will sob my heart out. And I worry so much. About the most ridiculous things. At the most ridiculous times. I don't undertand what's wrong with me. Why am I like this? I’m only sixteen, I have my whole life ahead of me, I have good friends, a lovely boyfriend, and a loving family.

So why do I feel like this?

I’ll wake up some mornings and I will just cry. Or I’ll cry myself to sleep in the evenings.

It just happens. It’ll just unexpectedly pounce on me, so I feel down, and begin to cry.

Sometimes it only lasts for 15 minutes or so, but sometimes it’s hours. Sometimes it’s quietly, but sometimes when I’m alone I will sob my heart out.

And I worry so much. About the most ridiculous things. At the most ridiculous times.

I don’t undertand what’s wrong with me. Why am I like this?

]]> By: Lana http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-61126 Lana Tue, 19 Jan 2010 08:27:13 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-61126 It's good to know that I'm not alone in being depressed/crying, but I'm 15 years old. I've been depressed off and on for about 5 years. I was having some trouble in school earlier because I was bored and not doing assignments, but then my parents sent me to a shrink, made me see the school shrink, and go to this homework help person. I have to see the shrink 5 times a week, school one 3 times a week, and homework help person twice a week They're all very patronizing and suffocating, and have pushed me into more depression and I'm on a downward spiral. My grades suck and I can't dig myself out of this hole. Also, my family is ruled with an iron fist, and they think I'm being overdramatic. I feel like I'm all alone, I cry almost every day, and when I cry I feel out of control. I put on a happy face, while I'm actually dying inside. I feel like the world has no color, if that makes sense, and nothing makes me happy anymore. I want to go somewhere else and start a new life with all of this behind me, but I can't because I'm too young. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in being depressed/crying, but I’m 15 years old. I’ve been depressed off and on for about 5 years. I was having some trouble in school earlier because I was bored and not doing assignments, but then my parents sent me to a shrink, made me see the school shrink, and go to this homework help person. I have to see the shrink 5 times a week, school one 3 times a week, and homework help person twice a week They’re all very patronizing and suffocating, and have pushed me into more depression and I’m on a downward spiral. My grades suck and I can’t dig myself out of this hole.
Also, my family is ruled with an iron fist, and they think I’m being overdramatic. I feel like I’m all alone, I cry almost every day, and when I cry I feel out of control. I put on a happy face, while I’m actually dying inside. I feel like the world has no color, if that makes sense, and nothing makes me happy anymore. I want to go somewhere else and start a new life with all of this behind me, but I can’t because I’m too young.

]]> By: Charlotte http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-60705 Charlotte Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:37:30 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-60705 What about truly random, nearly un-emotional crying. I searched "random crying" and came across this page because I was just watching a Japanese cooking video, and I started feeling myself sobbing and crying. I wasn't really sad, and I can't think about anything in the video that was sad...at all. I was just baffled. That's been sort of happening on and off my whole life. I noticed before that sometimes it happens when I'm listening to a song (doesn't have to be a sad song) and the singer hits a high note. No idea what the correlation is. What about truly random, nearly un-emotional crying. I searched “random crying” and came across this page because I was just watching a Japanese cooking video, and I started feeling myself sobbing and crying. I wasn’t really sad, and I can’t think about anything in the video that was sad…at all. I was just baffled.

That’s been sort of happening on and off my whole life. I noticed before that sometimes it happens when I’m listening to a song (doesn’t have to be a sad song) and the singer hits a high note. No idea what the correlation is.

]]> By: Dianne http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-60238 Dianne Sun, 20 Dec 2009 02:43:44 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-60238 I hate the crying for no reason and the I hate that it just comes and goes. One minute I can be in good mood and then suddenly I can get angry, mad, or depressed. Or it wilol be the other way round. I will be bummed out then in a matter of minutes, I can be in great mood. I hate that. I cant seem to focus at work for some reason. I enjoy the Holiday's, but it is hard when it reminds me of past Christmases with my family. I start thinking about how much time has goneby and how much I have not done with my life. I hate the crying for no reason and the I hate that it just comes and goes. One minute I can be in good mood and then suddenly I can get angry, mad, or depressed. Or it wilol be the other way round. I will be bummed out then in a matter of minutes, I can be in great mood. I hate that. I cant seem to focus at work for some reason.

I enjoy the Holiday’s, but it is hard when it reminds me of past Christmases with my family. I start thinking about how much time has goneby and how much I have not done with my life.

]]> By: Dewdrop http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-59185 Dewdrop Thu, 19 Nov 2009 02:51:43 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-59185 I am being treated for clinical depression which was triggered by many factors, away from home, being dumped by my boyfriend, rude behaviour from my boss who was as sweet as sugar initially. I feel so awful, no matter what I do or how much ever I divert my mind I keep thinking about the past and I did have a very important presentation and I totally blanked out. I am actually feeling pathetic to be true and I have no clue how long I will have to go like this. And the other annoying thing is crying which I have been doing for a long time now and I cant concentrate on anything, new activities are not helping me either because I just curl up like a ball and cry later.I feel hopeless all the time and feel I can't do anything right or worthwhile in life. If anyone is feeling something close to my symptoms I would like to talk to them and make a support group to help each other out through this phase. If anyone is up for this kindly let me know. I am being treated for clinical depression which was triggered by many factors, away from home, being dumped by my boyfriend, rude behaviour from my boss who was as sweet as sugar initially.

I feel so awful, no matter what I do or how much ever I divert my mind I keep thinking about the past and I did have a very important presentation and I totally blanked out. I am actually feeling pathetic to be true and I have no clue how long I will have to go like this.

And the other annoying thing is crying which I have been doing for a long time now and I cant concentrate on anything, new activities are not helping me either because I just curl up like a ball and cry later.I feel hopeless all the time and feel I can’t do anything right or worthwhile in life.

If anyone is feeling something close to my symptoms I would like to talk to them and make a support group to help each other out through this phase.
If anyone is up for this kindly let me know.

]]> By: diane http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57888 diane Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:00:04 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57888 i have suffered with depression on and off for years. I was on mediccation for a while but when my hour were cut at work I had to stop getting the neds. One thing I have noticed is my mood swings are more and more pronounced. Not to mention the fact that I can find no peace. I am and have always felt like I was alone, sometimes more than others. Being single at 38 with never being in a relationship or finding someone who wants to spend time with me without some alterior motive. never having a family of my own. wanting what I cannot have. I dont kow about anyone else, but I feel paranoid that I am gonna mess things up at work. feelings that I am not needed or wanted. everyday I cry, only to be told to stop acting like a cry baby. Family that I have helped at the expense of me having to do without, only t be told that I am useless when thibgs dont go their way. i hate where I am, cant get out cant focus on anything much. i have suffered with depression on and off for years. I was on mediccation for a while but when my hour were cut at work I had to stop getting the neds. One thing I have noticed is my mood swings are more and more pronounced. Not to mention the fact that I can find no peace. I am and have always felt like I was alone, sometimes more than others. Being single at 38 with never being in a relationship or finding someone who wants to spend time with me without some alterior motive. never having a family of my own. wanting what I cannot have. I dont kow about anyone else, but I feel paranoid that I am gonna mess things up at work. feelings that I am not needed or wanted. everyday I cry, only to be told to stop acting like a cry baby. Family that I have helped at the expense of me having to do without, only t be told that I am useless when thibgs dont go their way. i hate where I am, cant get out cant focus on anything much.

]]> By: John http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57654 John Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:36:58 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57654 Myranda, That's some really serious stuff you are facing. Please seek help immediately before you hurt yourself or someone else. Depression is a disease. You must seek treatment. Myranda,

That’s some really serious stuff you are facing.
Please seek help immediately before you hurt yourself or someone else.

Depression is a disease. You must seek treatment.

]]> By: Myranda http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57653 Myranda Mon, 28 Sep 2009 03:33:11 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57653 today was the best day ever my boyfriend gave me a promise ring and we cuddled i was so happy then for no reason at all i started crying and pulled out my knife and started stabbing my door, wall, and floor what the heck is wrong with me?? i just want to die:( today was the best day ever my boyfriend gave me a promise ring and we cuddled i was so happy then for no reason at all i started crying and pulled out my knife and started stabbing my door, wall, and floor what the heck is wrong with me?? i just want to die:(

]]> By: Blousy http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57009 Blousy Thu, 10 Sep 2009 21:04:38 +0000 http://www.theglasspeople.net/2006/10/22/depression-and-randomly-crying/#comment-57009 Crying is definitely a sign of depression. In one of my longest and deepest episodes I cried for weeks before taking the antidepressants and then it two another four or so weeks for them to kick in. So I sat on my couch and cried. It was terrible and not normal. I like to be out doing things, working and being with people. The problem with it is ruminating. Any thought, and they are all negative about myself and other people, I dwell on and think about over and over again. Which drives me quite mad and then I get depressed. So over the last few years I have become quite involved in Mindfulness Training which really has helped me to notice what I am thinking and change it. It is also quite relaxing as one has to meditate to train the mind....:) I feel so much better when I am doing this, can operate in the world and do the things I want to do as well as feel in control of myself rather than my mind controlling me... The teariness is still there a little particularly when I talk about my condition to people for some reason but I figure the more I do it maybe the less it will happen ..... Crying is definitely a sign of depression. In one of my longest and deepest episodes I cried for weeks before taking the antidepressants and then it two another four or so weeks for them to kick in. So I sat on my couch and cried. It was terrible and not normal. I like to be out doing things, working and being with people. The problem with it is ruminating. Any thought, and they are all negative about myself and other people, I dwell on and think about over and over again. Which drives me quite mad and then I get depressed. So over the last few years I have become quite involved in Mindfulness Training which really has helped me to notice what I am thinking and change it. It is also quite relaxing as one has to meditate to train the mind….:) I feel so much better when I am doing this, can operate in the world and do the things I want to do as well as feel in control of myself rather than my mind controlling me… The teariness is still there a little particularly when I talk about my condition to people for some reason but I figure the more I do it maybe the less it will happen …..

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