Michelle
After having about 15 hours of dreams last night about Michelle, and talking to her for about 1 1/4 hours tonight I am coming closer to understanding our relationship and current situation. There is no spoon. That is to say that there is no answer right now. I believe [from both the dreams and conversation with Michelle] that God is telling me to wait, wait, wait, and then …. wait some more. I am pushed to brink of patienence and then asked if I could hold on just a bit longer. Truely this is maddening and drives me a bit yonkers. Nothing has changed in our situation, except our deeping understanding of it. Our understanding right now is that we just don’t fucking know. Life is a bit nuts and continues to throw unexpected straight balls at me. You know after continuous fast balls, you excpect a curve once in a while, but alas God works in mysterious ways.
I end tonight going to be with a smile on my face because I got to talk [in length] with a woman that I admire and am still deeply in love with. How does it feel to know that someone is waiting for you?
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