I’m not sure if i’m feeling more depressed, or if i am just starting to confuse depression with reality. I am certainly lonely. I also feel my motivation starting to slip. I have lots on my plate right now and I’m trying to finish some projects up quickly so that I can be more active with my free time. I will be glad when spring break comes, but in a little over a weeks time (from today) my second eight weeks programing course will begin, oh the joy.

I’ve decided to stop drinking more than 1 alcoholic beverage a night. I feel like somewhere I lost control not over how often I drink but over how much I drink when I do drink. I keep getting way past my limits and have now lost my glasses for the second time. I have also lost my pool cue which in itself is very upsetting. I feel so dumb and irritate. How could this happen?

Must push onwards.

Add comment February 25th, 2006 at 05:35pm John

Well that was a fun weekend. I will certainly try to be more aware of light poles behind me as my body is in great pain. Thanks Emily for chasing me : / Now this crazy puss keeps coming out of my ear.

On the plus side my group therapy is going well. We sit around and talk out whatever is in our head focusing on the “here and now.” Basically someone starts out saying something about their life, usually something that recently happened, and they tell how they feel about that incident. We then will give feedback and relate to the persons story. While doing this we keep our personal goals in mind and work on them every minute that we are there. I am growing as a person and it feels really great. The person I look up to the most even noticed and said something about it! I really feel that I will be ahead in life due to the fact that I am going to therapy. I mean, not only will therapy and group therapy help me to deal with my inner struggles and pain but, it will also help me to gain an insight and better understand of my own self (something I am think most people could use more of) as well as help me to better relate and converse with the people around me. I can start to feel things working as I form more meaningful relationships with my friends and try to meet new friends around town. I still have pain, and I have yet to disclose anything more than a brief overview of the painful situation to my group, but all in good time. This may sound stupid/feminine or whatever, but therapy is a great time to cry and even though my whole story has yet to surface the tears come out to play. My advice to all is open yourself and let down those walls. Too many walls in me.

3 comments February 12th, 2006 at 08:21pm John

Tomorrow night (2/10) will be a birthday party for the co-host of theglasspeople.net podcast, Josh. Come out and join us for fun and elegant fashion.

Add comment February 9th, 2006 at 02:52pm John

So we went to happy hour at Kilroys last night at 6:30 for $0.25 wings and cheap ass stuffed breadsticks. Of course we drank alcohol, being a bar. Then we decided to head on over to Nicks (local legend) to play a couple rounds of the old favorite (if you like beer that is) of sink the biz. For those of you who do not know this game: A small bucket is filled with beer, then an empty glass is placed inside of that bucket of beer, people take turns pouring beer into said glass until someone sinks the biz (the floating glass). It is lots of fun and it turns out that my friend Jenna from Indy is really really good at this. People got drunk, but no one got out of hand. After loads of beer and some arm wrestling we headed over to get some AMF’s at the Upstairs (we like it on top!) played some drunken pool and got my ass handed to me from guys that I could have easily beaten. Oh well it was fun. Loads of good times and pictures provided by Virginia.

Add comment February 4th, 2006 at 11:39am John